Tag: negativity

What is Forgiveness?

forgive-on-stonesPsychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Many of us feel that when we forgive somebody, we’re doing them a favor. Perhaps they’ve changed, or apologized, or maybe we feel that we made them suffer enough. The reality is, that the main beneficiary of forgiveness is the forgiver.

Every time we harbor ill will, a hateful feeling, or persistent negativity towards someone we do harm to ourselves. When we remember the wrongs done to us, we dwell on the ill feelings about those who hurt us. We relive those negative emotions, suffering past pain all over again, this process can affect us not only emotionally but eventually even physically, manifesting itself through our bodies and our health.

To forgive is not always easy, at times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. However, it is the most important single process that brings peace to our soul, harmony to our life and allows us freedom from the weight of our suffering which in turn brings peace of mind.

So how to forgive a wrong? It isn’t easy, it goes against our human nature. Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. Here are some ideas:

  • Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
  • Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
  • Actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you, when you’re ready
  • Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
  • As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt, you might even find compassion and understanding.

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace, forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Higher self-esteem

There is no guarantee that the offending party will reciprocate, however for you this is the beginning of a positive change in your life.

Forgiveness improves our health, the benefits of forgiveness seem to come largely from its ability to reduce negative affect such as feelings of tension, anger, depression and fatigue.

Forgiveness makes us happier, forgiving others can make people feel happy, especially when they forgive someone to whom they feel close.

Forgiveness boosts kindness and connectedness, those who feel forgiving don’t only feel more positive toward someone who hurt them, they are also more likely to volunteer for a good cause and they feel more connected to other people in general.

As Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said: ” Forgiveness is the path to true enduring peace.”

Don’t Act Like an Elephant!

african-elephant

Strange statement, isn’t it? But listen carefully because it can make a difference of success and failure in your business and private life.

LET ME EXPLAIN:

You may know that in India elephants are used for manual labour. But what to do with them when they are not working? How to restrain them? Their handlers came up with the idea to “program” them while they are still very young by setting self-imposed limits into their thinking.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

When the elephants are still small, weighing around 150 pounds they get tied up with a very heavy rope. All day long, the elephants try to get rid of it, whine, tug at it and some of them even try to chew it. But they can’t break free. Finally the elephant gives up and the fight is over.

From this moment on, they strongly believe that there is absolutely no chance to get rid of the rope. They accept the “fact” that the rope limits them. And with this imprinted belief in place, their handlers are able to tie them with extremely small ropes, even as adults weighing 8,000 pounds and more, they never attempt to break free, because they “know” they have no chance at all! As you can see, the elephants’ limits are not real but exist only in their mind.

We also have built-in boundaries.They are also not real but exist only in our minds. But it doesn’t have to stay this way. Our negative belief systems don’t have to limit us for good. If you truly want to become successful and are not kidding yourself, you can change your inner belief system, your attitude…

…and break your inner boundaries. You might feel that there are certain characteristics of your personality that are part of you and therefore cannot change; it’s just the way you are, the way God made you.

Although it’s true that you have certain inborn traits, certain strengths and weaknesses,this doesn’t mean that you can never change. You might wonder how this can be, how you can change what you feel is a long-standing habit, an almost ingrained characteristic, and turn it into something different. All things are possible with God!

It just takes a sincere desire to receive His help, and determination to follow through. You always have the inner strength, the personal power to change everything in your life for the better. Just try! Never give up. And never act like an elephant!